16 December 2021–One more thing off of the list.
The reason the button in my brain, entitled “beat myself up,” does not have an off position is unknown to me. I wish it did.
Last week I was determined to make Amazon and my family happy by doing Christmas shopping. With step-three daughters (and spouses) and their families living in different English communities and my stepson’s children all in Finland, gifts needed to be deliverable.
To truly appreciate this story, you need to understand that John has an Amazon account, and I have an Amazon account. Those accounts are now a household account. But, if I make an order with John’s sign-in, and need to communicate with customer service, they require that the agent speaks to him.
As I sat down with my list of names, the Faithful Spirit said whispered; “Make separate orders per family.” All the gifts for one family per delivery address made perfect sense. Yet, thinking I would be clever, I decided to make one big order on Amazon. After all, there is an option to select which address each item is to be delivered to.
However, I disregarded that Spirit at the Heart of Christmas. Yes, I chose disobedience. I was working through the list, making selections for different families. The evening sky was now black, and it was time to stop and prepare dinner. I would return after we had eaten and finish making my order.
While eating, the Holy Spirit once again whispered wisdom. “Put the computer on hibernate, and deal with things tomorrow.” Oh, I did like the sound of that. Well, our meal finished, I returned to my desk.
“One more thing, this last selection is all I will do.” I lied to myself. After that particular gift, I went on, to scan the Amazon website, looking for appropriate prezzies. No matter that I was already tired, emotional. No matter that it was way past my bedtime. I was going to practice perseverance.
It hit the “buy now” button. Once it was clicked, I discovered that Amazon had scrambled the delivery addresses! Each time I tried to cancel the order, or change the address selection, I found I couldn’t.
“Okay, it’s Amazon…open 24/7…call customer service!” I think. After eight minutes of hunting, I found the phone call option.
The clock reads 00:45 a.m.; the agent asks for my name, so I say “Dalletta.” She informs me that before she can make any changes to the order, she must talk to John. He is sound asleep in bed. And must get up at 2:00 a.m. to go to work. There is NO WAY I am going to go get him.
I growl down the phone, “You know, I am really angry and frustrated. You are NOT being helpful. Thanks for nothing.” I hang up, turn and throw my mobile phone.
It bounced off of the wall, landing right next to the pillow Maisy was laying on. She shot up off of the bed and ran to our bedroom for the safety of her crate.
And at that moment, the “Beat Myself Up” button activated. I cried. I was ashamed of my behavior. She, who aspires to be obedient. “Stupid!” I hiss to myself. “You have been so stupid. Twice! On no! It will be fun to make one big order! Wrong! Just one more thing…and two hours later…
I finally directed the computer to hibernate. I took myself off to bed, determined to call Amazon the next day and leave a message for the agent whom I had hung up on.
It was easy to berate myself for not listening. Yet, I also found something useful—a great example of what happens when disobedience seems like it isn’t that big of a deal.
I contacted my three step-daughters. They were very kind, generous, and gracious. It wasn’t so bad after all. I still had about two-thirds of the list to work through. Having learned my lesson, I ordered all the other presents one-by-one, so there would be no mix-up of delivery addresses.
I also created a list for the girls and emailed them. They could sort out amongst themselves how to get things to the correct place.
So, shopping for the family is done—one more thing off of the list. Will Christmas cookies get baked? Don’t know. Will the tree get put up?! Yes.
Now for a couple of updates. On Wednesday, 9th December, I had my third covid-19 booster vaccination. My arm was sore for three days.
In November, I wrote about my treadle sewing machine going to Africa with a charity called Tools With A Mission. Monday, 22nd November, Paul Smith, their representative, came to pick up the donation. Here are the photos of Paul, and John loading the sewing machine and the stand into Paul’s car. One step closer to Africa. I wish I could get a photo of the family who will receive it. However, that isn’t possible. Yet, there is joy in my heart knowing it has actually begun the journey.
That’s it for now.
Serving Jesus, Author of our faith,
Dalletta